Friday, December 11, 2015

My Diary My Soul

If you could feel me;

I woke up hungry. Hungry for the worth of 12hrs. I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to sit up and think what is next in my life. I would have gone back to sleeping for another 12hrs if I could. But I couldn't. I was hungry. I could not even lay on my right side because my stomach hurt. This  body of mine is nothing but the source of the pain. This heart of mine is even worse ; always reminded me that I am too small for this Queen-sized bed of mine.

Have you ever thought how the junk foods could satisfy your depressed mind while it made you lose control of your body?

Now I was sitting here at the table with a bunch of fast foods in front of me.
Every packages have been unwrapped.
Taken a bite of each. Feeling the bitter taste of the fresh brewed coffee on my tongue. Only When I thought I was feeling a bit better. A little happiness. Then this sadness set in. Have it not been many times by now. I could feel it through all my veins. It was overwhelming. Then I started to sob. Sobbing like I have had held up many in. Sobbing like I was feeling stuck for so long. Sobbing like I was too afraid to continue. Sobbing like;
This life I have here; I do not understand anymore.

( Mhu)

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